MAKER MAYHEM: Low Moments in How-To History

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Maker Mayhem #9

Radiant Heated Dog House: Because shoving Rover’s paw in a light socket wouldn’t be cruel enough “As long as Rover pays his ‘doghouse rent’ in the way of companionship, watchdog service, entertainment, etc.,” the introduction of this How-To tells us, “the least you can do is winterize his outdoor quarters.” Fair enough, and further proof that there’s no such thing as a free lunch, not even for Rover. Recommended for Makers living in “rugged winter climates,” this doghouse offers Rover a warm place to rest his ass until the snow melts by way of a sheet metal floor designed to conduct the heat produced by a set of two, 40-Watt light bulbs fastened to the subflooring beneath. But if Rover doesn

Maker Mayhem #8

Burnt Matchstick Easter Decorations: When celebrating the Resurrection means looking no further than your ashtray There seems to be something specific to the Christian faith that drives the non-trained artist to express their love of God with found objects, sundry recyclables, and repurposed household detritus. You don’t often see a Star of David hammered out in bottle caps, or a Muslim weaving a prayer rug from folded gum wrappers, and Buddhists don’t seem to bother much with pipe cleaners or cigar boxes. An effigy of L. Ron Hubbard in flattened soda cans and popsicle sticks? Even a Scientologist draws the line somewhere. When it comes to faith-based folk art of the outsider variety, Christ

Maker Mayhem #7

Automobile-Sized Refrigerator: When a cooler just isn’t cool enough You’ve spent every spare second of the past month sequestered in your garage hacking your old Frigidaire; entire weekends have been lost to the obsessive sawing, sanding, and welding, the labeling of wires and tubes, and the exacting dissection and reassembling of its motor, compressor, and evaporator. Itchy from fiberglass dust and delirious from the cloud of noxious fumes rising from the spray of refrigerator enamel, you work late into each night, long after everyone’s gone to bed. You haven’t sat down to dinner with your own family in weeks. The lawn needs mowing. Your wife keeps haranguing you about taking out the garbag

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